Please Sign Here ---->

Today I signed on the dotted line. I signed and initialed and signed and initialed and then the doctors signed and then the coordinator witnessed and then.....the deal was sealed. It was like signing for a mortgage.

And its official.

My kidney will be oh-so-gently placed within Nathanial very very soon.

My day started out very early. Geoff and I had to be at the hospital by 7:30. I had been fasting for 12 hours prior to the appoitment so they could test my blood sugar first thing. yay...more needles. What I didn't realize, was that after the initial blood drawing, they were going to trap Geoff and I in a closet sized windowless room for the next five hours with nothing more than a TV and two chairs. B-O-R-I-N-G! A lab tech explained that I would drink this extremely sugary drink (that tasted like orange soda) and then they would draw my blood an hour after the drinking. And then two hours after drinking. And then three hours after the drinking.....you get the picture. I don't mean to sound like a baby, but I am going to whine just a little. I have been sick the last two days...killer sore throat, headache, body aches...just yuck. So prior to todays visit, because I had to fast, I couldn't take any medicine. Also, this meant no coffee for me this morning. Me feeling sick and not having my morning coffee made for a very unpleasant and uncomfortable morning for me. And my poor husband was trapped in there with me! Not only was he trapped in the small, overly heated room with a grouchy wife, but the lab tech actually thought he was my dad! (Geoff had just a rough of a day as I did, bless his heart)

By 12:45 I was shaky and I needed food and cold medicine badly. The lab tech finished the final draw just in time for me to run down to the cafeteria and get a baked potato before heading back up to the sixth floor of St Francis. I have to admit, I was a little anxious to meet this doctor. I have heard he is quite the stiff, old fashioned type guy that doesn't like to BS. I felt quite the opposite upon meeting him. Dr Shields made Geoff and I feel right at ease. He first went through a flip chart that begun like this: Renal Failure Options. Option #1 Do Nothing = death. (note the picture I took of the lovely flip chart above) We went thru the proceedure and he answered all of the questions Geoff had for him. We told some jokes and I found out that when they remove my bottom rib, they will let me actually keep my bone for a souvineer!! HOW TOTALLY AWESOME IS THAT!?!?!?!!!!! I was a little surprised to find out I wasn't the first one to ask if I could keep my rib bone. I just have to think of a good way keep the bone after I get to take it home. I doubt Geoff will let me mount it and hang it on the wall. I dont think it would look good hanging around neck. Oh, I'll think of something....

After meeting with Dr Shields, we met with the neprologist who is very concerned about my gestational diabetes. Although, my glucose test came back almost perfect (even better than most normal people) he still had his doubts knowing I had gestational diabetes. He recommended that I see a diabetes specialist prior to the surgery so that he can look over my records and make a recommendation. Just between you and me, even if they say I am in a higher risk catagory for diabetes, it won't stop me. I've made it this far with no problems, I'm sure I can skip some sugar and exercise regularly and be just fine the rest of my life. But I understand, from a neprology side of things, why the doctor wants to at least educate me.

Its been a long day. And I'm so glad to be back home! Now I can take my cold medicine and then go watch my daughters concert and then try to get some rest.

Peace Out Bean Sprouts~
Hilary

All the Lose Ends

I don't have much to blog about today, but its been a few days since the last update so I'll fill everyone in. Nathanial is headed to Wichita today (face mask and hand sanitizer in tow so as to avoid swine flu!). He is attending his final 'Advanced Transplant' class in the transplant center at St Francis. The whole family attended one of these classes last year when we first started planning. The class is EXTREMELY uncomfortable. They talk about flank incisions, and they talk about getting a tube shoved in your pee hole, and they talk about the epidural, and they talk about medications after the surgery, and they do their best to really really talk you out of going through with it if you aren't a 100% dedicated. I remember getting grossed out enough that I lost my appetite--and, FYI, it takes a lot of work to make me lose my appetite!! I remember them going over some statistics of survival rates and things like that. They also talked about the financials of the process. So, today's meeting is a follow-up to that original meeting for Nathanial.

I believe Nat also meets with the wound specialist today. For those of you that don't know, back when Nathanial went septic a few years ago, he also lost half of one of his feet. His entire foot had turned a nasty shade of green/black with oozies coming out of it and mom and dad had to make the decision (while Nathanial was still in a coma) to go ahead and remove part of his foot to save the rest. He lost both of his calves and his nose and a few fingertips, but the major thing was his foot. His foot still gives him problems to this day. He had another surgery just a few months ago to shave off a little more of the foot bone and the doctor added some shark cartlidge to help the foot heal better. Apparently, when you don't have kidney function, you don't heal well from other illnesses. For three years, Nathanials foot wouldn't heal from the original surgery. It was very painful for him. He couldn't walk very far or for very long at a time. He had to keep his foot bandaged at all times and change his dressings often. It was all very sad. Then just a few weeks before my wedding is when he had surgery to add the shark cartlidge. We were all very impressed with how quickly he was up and walking after this proceedure. Now he has special little shoes that go around his stub to make him walk better! But back to my original thought--today he follows up with the wound care doctor for his foot. They have to make sure the foot is doing alright before proceeding with the transplant.

I don't have any more tests or meetings until Thursday. Thursday I have to take the entire day off work. So far, I have managed to just take bits and pieces of my work days off for all my tests and meetings. The bank has been really good about working with me on my schedule. This Thursday puts a bit of a kink in things at work because we have several people gone, but no one has given me a hard time about not being here. Everyone at work seems to understand, and even though they don't really know Nathanial, they are all cheering for him. I know its hard on people that aren't part of the family to really wrap their mind around how important this is.

I have been scheduled a glucose tolerance test on Thursday. I guess they don't usually do this test for the donor, but because I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with Corynne, they want to make sure I don't have diabetic tendencies now. Then just yesterday I got a phone call telling me that I not only get to meet with the Nephrologist Thursday, but I also get to meet with the Surgeon!!!! So that is HUGE news! On my checklist of things left to do, that completely wraps me up. I am hoping we get to schedule the actual date of the transplant Thursday! We shall see....and when I find out, believe you me, I will blog about it! ~Hilary

Roller Coaster

Yesterday I received a phone call from the transplant center. The call was from Clem, the receptionist, who just called to tell me that our coordinator had made an appointment for me on next Thursday (October 22nd) at 2pm to meet with Dr. Mandayam - the nephrology surgeon!! She told me the meeting was just for me, and that Nathanial was not going to be present, but she said to be sure and bring my husband. Weird, huh?

I couldn't ask too many questions because she was just relaying the message and didn't really know details. But I have a MILLION questions. Last I knew, we couldn't have our meetings with the surgeons until the last week of October. Then, for no reason at all, I have a meeting next week. And I am to bring my husband - curious.

I have these plethera (sp?) of emotions right now that I can't control at all. I go to bed and I am exhausted to the point of not even being able to keep my eyes open, but then I start thinking about things that are about to happen, and I can't get to sleep. I toss and turn all night long and dream about the surgery. I wake up and immediately google things about the surgery. Then I go to work and think about it all day long, completely ruining my focus behind the desk. I come home and search some more on google. THIS IS CONSUMING MY LIFE!

And its not because I'm nervous, I'm not nervous at all....I'm just anxious. I am ready to do it and get it all over with. I keep coming up with all these 'what if' situations....what if Nathanial's body rejects my kidney? What if I get a kidney infection in my only kidney in a couple years? What if they go in to remove my kidney and find something wrong with it and don't go through with the transplant? What if Nathanial gets sick between now and the transplant? What if, after the surgery, I get a cough and rip out my stitches with every sneeze? --these are the things that make me not sleep, and not focus, and not act like myself.

One minute I'm all giddy and I'm like "Bring it!" and then the next minute I'm thinking about the IV and my legs feel weak and my stomach gets upset. One minute I'm all excited about the thought of 6 weeks relaxing at home to recover, the next minute I'm in a panic about all the sales I'll lose out on at work. One minute I'm wondering why this process takes so long, the next minute I catch myself telling someone that its going so fast! I am a crazy person right now. Literally, a crazy person right now.

I have a plan for this next week. This week I am going to try and act more normal. I am going to quit daydreaming to the point that I don't even hear when the kids ask me a question. I'm going to quit calling my parents house three times a day for no reason. I'm going to do more around the house and quit wasting my time googling. And, by golly, I'm going to sleep!!

Processes, Processes.....

Yesterday, I had to get up a little early to start my day. Normally, I wouldn't mind so much, but yesterday was Columbus Day. A glorified holiday in the banking world. Its a day that all the bankers and post office workers get the day off, while the rest of the world works. October is the beginning of a series of these little holidays for those who work in a bank. Making this the perfect time of year to be scheduleing so many tests and trips across town to the hospital.

My appointment yesterday was two-fold. I was to turn in my second round of pee jugs (which also means bloodwork-gag!) and I was to have my visit with the social worker. After my last visit with Mark -the renal donor coordinator- he told me I was down to the last few schedulings. He told me I would meet with the social worker, then the psychologist, then Nathanial and I would meet with the surgeon and the nephrologist to schedule THE day.

I wasn't quite sure I needed to meet with a social worker. Actually, I didn't even know what the social worker's role was. Nathanial told me she was a super sweet lady and I would like her. I honestly haven't met one person that works in the renal department that I haven't liked. But, I'm getting off track now. I had to be in the renal department of the hospital by 8am. Driving there takes about 30 minutes during rush hour plus I had to consider parking and walking through the crazy parking garage and getting to the 6th floor. And anyone who knows me knows I HATE being late to anything. I decided to leave the house around 7:15 which meant the kids were on their own for getting on the bus and getting themselves out the door at the right time. That isn't too much of a big deal for them. They have had to do that several times lately due to all of my testing and appointments. On a side note, the kids haven't complained one single time. They are the best little cheerleaders! They always give me extra kisses and hugs in the morning when they know I am having a day faced with needles. And then the first thing out of their mouths when they get home that evening is always "how did the doctors go?". They are just as excited to have Nathanial better as the rest of the family.

I arrived at the hospital at 8:03 according to my car, but I always have my car clock set ten mintues fast to trick myself into always being early. Drives Geoff crazy!! By the time I got up to the renal office to meet with the social worker it was right on the dot, 8 o'clock. Beth Smith, the social worker, came out to greet me. She was a tiny little brown haired lady that imediately made me feel comfortable. She couldn't find an office for us to meet in so we wandered up and down the hall for a few minutes looking for an open space. All the while, my pee jug was splish-sploshing around in my bag. We found an open office and she told me to make myself comfortable. Basically, her job for the day was to give me a sort of interview to deterimine if I really was willing to be Nathanial's donor for all the right reasons.

She asked me questions about financial issues. She asked me questions about my kids feelings about the surgery. She asked me how Geoff felt. She asked me how long I had thought about doing this. She asked me how my employer was going to handle my leave of absense. She asked me who was my support system and who would take care of me after the transplant. She talked with me about what it was that happened to Nathanial to get him to where he is now. She asked me what I would do if it turned out that the transplant didn't work. All these questions and topics were discussed over the course of about an hour. Apparently she approved of my reasons behind why I am doing this for Nathanial, because at the end of the interview she said when the transplant team met and they asked her for her 'yay' or 'nay'on continuing with the procedure as me being the donor, she was going to give me a resounding 'yay'.

YAY! One more obsticle down!

After visiting with the social worker I was sent to the lab. The lady who works the front desk from the lab now knows me by name. 'Hi Hilary', she greeted as I walked (as slowly as I could) through the door of the lab. I sat my bag down and pulled out my pee jug to walk over and give to her. I was sick and tired of hauling that stupid jug around with me everywhere for the last 24 hours so that was at least a good thing! She had me scribble down my height and weight and what time I started and ended collection. Then I had a seat to wait for the BS. BS= blood sucker.

The idea of me getting blood drawn doesn't panic me as much as it did even a few weeks ago. I'm actually very proud of myself for how brave I was yesterday. The BS came to call me to the back room and my stomach didn't even turn like it normally does. The nurse was a very funny guy this time and cracked a lot of jokes. He was young and energetic and very different than the nurses I'm used to. As he was poking around looking for a good vein I mentioned that I was still bruised from the last time they drew blood. He told me he could use a different vein if I wanted him to, but I declined the offer and told him just to use whatever vein was going to be the easiest for him. He said back to me,'do you really mean that? I can use whatever vein is easiest for me? Because my patients tend to get a little uneasy when I tie this rubber strap around their neck." See what I mean? He was funny! ....and if he thought for a second that he was going to use a neck vein of mine to get blood out of he wasn't just funny....he was CRAZY too!!

The blood drawing went well and I was out of the hospital by 10am to go enjoy the rest of my Columbus Day holiday. My next appointment is with a psychologist tomorrow. I guess they don't want to use mentally unstable people's kidneys?? Either way, she is the last person I will see prior to actually scheduling the transplant!! My kidney is anxiously awaiting his new home!

Until next time~
Hilary