The days are dragging by as slowly as possible now that everything is up in the air. Today should have been my day three with no kidney. I should be in a lot of pain today and on a lot of drugs, feasting on hospital food and being forced to walk even though I would rather not. Instead I am still packing the kids' lunches and going to the bank all day. I'm still coming home and letting the puppies out and making dinner and running kids around. I still have this extra kidney. And Nathanial still has none.
Monday, Nat and mom came to town for a bunch of hospital tests to see what all was wrong with him and what all the doctors think they can do. Nathanial described one test as the most painful thing, next to kidney stones, that he has ever lived through. He was in so much pain when he came to our house it made me angry. He kept taking his oxycodone (sp?) and wincing everytime he tried to re-arrange his legs. He didn't sleep at all Monday night. (Although, Mace, our little black puppy, slept quite comfortably next to Nathanial in the guest room!) The next morning Nathanial was scheduled for another test, a cat scan, at a seperate hospital here in town. Conclusively, the doctors think Nathanial has pneumonia....even though he says he feels fine. They also determined his liver is enlarged and they want to find out why. While I am frustrated to not be done with the transplant right now, I am thankful that the doctors are giving Nat the attention he deserves now. Next Monday, the 23rd, the physicians have scheduled another meeting with Nathanial. They said, provided all the tests look okay, they may set a new date for a transplant at that time.
I'm not holding my breath.
In fact, I'm doing the opposite. I painted my nails again (I had all my polish removed for weeks in preparation for surgery). I started taking my Advil Sinus again for my headaches....the nephrologist told me that was hard on my kidneys. I am doing whatever I can to temp Murphy. Murphey's Law and I do this dance often. You see, when I plan and I have things ready to go.....guaranteed something will go wrong. So, when I don't plan, sure enough things happen that should have been planned for. There really is a method to my madness!
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Let Down
Well, by now most of you know, the transplant is not going to happen Tuesday.
Its kinda hard to write about this and not be emotional. I mean, we were admitted. We were sent home with our papers and our perscriptions and our 'after care' instructions. When I went back to work after being admitted, everyone from the bank was wearing their little green ribbons for us. I had my list of things I needed to pack for the hospital. The kids' teachers knew what was going on and they were getting the kids homework ready for them to be gone on Tuesday. WE WERE DOWN TO THE LAST MINUTE! ......and then the email came from my coordinator explaining things may be delayed. And then I saw I had a voicemail on my cell phone from Nathanial........I knew it wasn't good news.
Apparently, the doctors here in Wichita didn't fully understand the complications of having Nathanial as a patient. He's not your average kidney patient. He needs infectious disease specialists and blood pathologist specialists and neprologists and a bunch of other 'ists' that I can't even remember. I thought the doctors were acting rather cavalier about him all along. I was concerned that everyone on the transplant team was checking me out to death and not hardly even contacting Nathanial. But then again, I thought maybe it was just because I was so close here in town that they all knew me.
Nathanial will be here in Wichita again tomorrow. He is visiting with a long list of doctors and specialists and he is going to have his bone marrow tested (gag!). And after an exhaustingly stressful day for everyone in the family, I am hoping we have more answers. Its no fun to log onto my facebook and see my time-counter that says "two more days until transplant". It makes me cry. It was no fun to go to church today and have everyone say "oh Hilary, its almost here! We'll all be praying for you Tuesday" and then I have to explain the whole story again. Everytime I explain it, I start crying all over again like a little baby.
And Nathanial, on the other hand, is acting like this is no big deal! I admire his strength and his faith so much. I'm the one whining like the world is going to end on Tuesday and he's all like 'oh well, this is good. They'll fix whatever is going on and THEN we'll do the transplant. No biggie!' He's awesome like that. Its totally normal for him to be awesome like that. And its totally normal for me to cry a lot when things don't go my way. Thats why he deserves to have this kidney. And SOON!!
So please pray! Pray pray pray pray pray. There's a plan here--and none of us know what it is yet--we just have to have faith!! I am believing that this is just going to be a minor setback. I am going to believe that by Christmas Nathanial will have his new kidney. (because I was going to use that as my gift for him this year. lol) I am going to believe that by all these new doctors becoming involved with Nathanial, he will be even healthier than we ever thought! I am going to believe that there will be no more complications and operation kidney transplant will once again resume!!
~ Hil
Its kinda hard to write about this and not be emotional. I mean, we were admitted. We were sent home with our papers and our perscriptions and our 'after care' instructions. When I went back to work after being admitted, everyone from the bank was wearing their little green ribbons for us. I had my list of things I needed to pack for the hospital. The kids' teachers knew what was going on and they were getting the kids homework ready for them to be gone on Tuesday. WE WERE DOWN TO THE LAST MINUTE! ......and then the email came from my coordinator explaining things may be delayed. And then I saw I had a voicemail on my cell phone from Nathanial........I knew it wasn't good news.
Apparently, the doctors here in Wichita didn't fully understand the complications of having Nathanial as a patient. He's not your average kidney patient. He needs infectious disease specialists and blood pathologist specialists and neprologists and a bunch of other 'ists' that I can't even remember. I thought the doctors were acting rather cavalier about him all along. I was concerned that everyone on the transplant team was checking me out to death and not hardly even contacting Nathanial. But then again, I thought maybe it was just because I was so close here in town that they all knew me.
Nathanial will be here in Wichita again tomorrow. He is visiting with a long list of doctors and specialists and he is going to have his bone marrow tested (gag!). And after an exhaustingly stressful day for everyone in the family, I am hoping we have more answers. Its no fun to log onto my facebook and see my time-counter that says "two more days until transplant". It makes me cry. It was no fun to go to church today and have everyone say "oh Hilary, its almost here! We'll all be praying for you Tuesday" and then I have to explain the whole story again. Everytime I explain it, I start crying all over again like a little baby.
And Nathanial, on the other hand, is acting like this is no big deal! I admire his strength and his faith so much. I'm the one whining like the world is going to end on Tuesday and he's all like 'oh well, this is good. They'll fix whatever is going on and THEN we'll do the transplant. No biggie!' He's awesome like that. Its totally normal for him to be awesome like that. And its totally normal for me to cry a lot when things don't go my way. Thats why he deserves to have this kidney. And SOON!!
So please pray! Pray pray pray pray pray. There's a plan here--and none of us know what it is yet--we just have to have faith!! I am believing that this is just going to be a minor setback. I am going to believe that by Christmas Nathanial will have his new kidney. (because I was going to use that as my gift for him this year. lol) I am going to believe that by all these new doctors becoming involved with Nathanial, he will be even healthier than we ever thought! I am going to believe that there will be no more complications and operation kidney transplant will once again resume!!
~ Hil
Monday, November 9, 2009
My Hero
Before our story wraps up and before I am under the influence of any drugs I feel like my blogging requires a dedication to my hero. While everyone is busy telling me how brave I am and what a great sacrifice I am giving.....while everyone is saying prayers for me and Nathanial and trying to do all they can to help us out during the next couple of weeks.....while everyone hugs me and says 'bless your heart', a silent hero has been standing in the shadows supporting me throughout this entire process.
My hero just cleaned out the guest room last week so that my granny would have a room to sleep in when she comes to stay with us. My hero has been to almost every doctor appointment with me regarding the transplant. My hero put money in all the kids' lunch accounts so I don't have to worry about packing lunches every morning after surgery. My hero has been there to hold my hand and rub my back for all of my tests and proceedures. My hero, well, he's really the reason I'm able to do this. He is my rock.
I'm emotional today. I know the stress is starting to get to me. I keep doing that thing where I think "next week right now I will be....." and then I get weak feeling and anxious. Its dumb, I know. This is the week we have been waiting on for months!! And now, NOW I decide to get weirded out?! It doesn't make sense.
Last night, Geoff just lay beside me in bed listening to me talk about the things I was excited about and the things I was scared about and all the things I laugh about. He rubbed my back and listened, really listened, to all that was on my mind and all that was troubling me so that I could go to sleep. How selfless is that? And then, he cracked a joke about how funny it would be if, when I was coming out of the anesthsia, he put on a white owl mask. (have you seen the trailer for the new movie "The Fourth Kind"? Where people are abducted by aliens and every night they see a white owl outside their window prior to the abduction? FREAKY!!!!) I love how he listens, but then knows just the right time to make me crack up and forget all my troubles. Its hard to find a more genuine soul in this world. Someone who always places your needs before their own. Thank you, Geoff, for being my all. Thank you for being there even when I'm bitchy (and Lord knows, those days are many). Thank you for buying me pudding when I want pudding and for getting me a tanning package because I wanted to be tan for surgery. Thank you for listening to me sing all around the house because I sing like a musical when I'm stressed. Thank you for not throwing out my favorite old pair of green sweat pants that you detest (they're going to be SO comfy after surgery!) And thank you for listening to me and really hearing what I say. I love you.
~Hilary
Footnote: Dad, don't even THINK about getting a white owl mask. I know this is what you are thinking and it would NOT be funny to anyone. This would be like when you and Nathanial came over to watch BlairWitch at my house and left little piles of rocks on my porch in the dark that night after you left.
My hero just cleaned out the guest room last week so that my granny would have a room to sleep in when she comes to stay with us. My hero has been to almost every doctor appointment with me regarding the transplant. My hero put money in all the kids' lunch accounts so I don't have to worry about packing lunches every morning after surgery. My hero has been there to hold my hand and rub my back for all of my tests and proceedures. My hero, well, he's really the reason I'm able to do this. He is my rock.
I'm emotional today. I know the stress is starting to get to me. I keep doing that thing where I think "next week right now I will be....." and then I get weak feeling and anxious. Its dumb, I know. This is the week we have been waiting on for months!! And now, NOW I decide to get weirded out?! It doesn't make sense.
Last night, Geoff just lay beside me in bed listening to me talk about the things I was excited about and the things I was scared about and all the things I laugh about. He rubbed my back and listened, really listened, to all that was on my mind and all that was troubling me so that I could go to sleep. How selfless is that? And then, he cracked a joke about how funny it would be if, when I was coming out of the anesthsia, he put on a white owl mask. (have you seen the trailer for the new movie "The Fourth Kind"? Where people are abducted by aliens and every night they see a white owl outside their window prior to the abduction? FREAKY!!!!) I love how he listens, but then knows just the right time to make me crack up and forget all my troubles. Its hard to find a more genuine soul in this world. Someone who always places your needs before their own. Thank you, Geoff, for being my all. Thank you for being there even when I'm bitchy (and Lord knows, those days are many). Thank you for buying me pudding when I want pudding and for getting me a tanning package because I wanted to be tan for surgery. Thank you for listening to me sing all around the house because I sing like a musical when I'm stressed. Thank you for not throwing out my favorite old pair of green sweat pants that you detest (they're going to be SO comfy after surgery!) And thank you for listening to me and really hearing what I say. I love you.
~Hilary
Footnote: Dad, don't even THINK about getting a white owl mask. I know this is what you are thinking and it would NOT be funny to anyone. This would be like when you and Nathanial came over to watch BlairWitch at my house and left little piles of rocks on my porch in the dark that night after you left.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Dear Kidney,
We need to have a talk. I want you to know I love you very much. And I don't want to upset you in any way. But I need your help. Well, actually, Nathanial needs your help. You see, he's my little brother. And every since the very first day he came home from the hospital, I have felt kind of protective of him.
I remember as a kid, when mom and dad would tuck us into bed and we shared a bedroom. We would still whisper and talk after they went back downstairs. Sometimes we would throw a little stuffed animal back and forth in the dark. We'd laugh when it would accidentally hit one of us. We'd get rowdy and sometimes forget how loud we got when we were supposed to be sleeping. Pretty soon, the hall light would flip on and Dad would come up and yell at us for not going to sleep like we were supposed to. I would always feel bad that Nathanial got yelled at because usually I started it. Another time I remember when Nathanial kept using the word 'damn'. Mom got so mad that he wouldn't stop she finally washed his mouth out with soap! I felt awful that he had to have his mouth washed out with soap, and I immediately ran upstairs and licked the soap myself to see how much he was suffering. And one time at church, when one of the bigger kids was picking on Nathanial, I chased that little bully all over the church kicking and trying to hit him and telling him he'd better not pick on my little brother!! --and I think I scared him off.
Feelings don't change as an adult. When I see someone staring at Nathanial because his nose is gone, I feel rage surge through me and I want to go tell that person off. When I hear a curious little kid ask questions about Nat's nose, it saddens me. The only difference now is that I am an adult and I have to control myself to some extent. I can't chase people down that stare and kick and hit them. I still feel protective. Only now, I feel helpless also.
When Nathanial was hospitalized a few years ago, I felt the most helpless I ever have in my life. There was my little brother...unconscious, feeding tube in his side so he could eat, breathing tube in his neck so he could breath, blood cleaning machine hooked to his veins so he wouldn't poison himself and die. Living by machine. He was mangled looking....his lips and nose were shriveled and black/purple. As were his fingers. As were his ears and the backs of his hands. His legs from the knee down looked like a corpse that had been rotting for some time. His arms were tied to the bed so he wouldn't thrash around and yank out any tubes.
It was literally the most heartbreaking feeling in the world.
And I could do nothing to help him.
Nothing.
I have never cried harder. I have never prayed more.
So, you see, kidney, this is where you come in. Its not that I don't need you....its that he needs you more. This is the one thing that I can do for Nathanial. This is the only thing I can do for my little brother that will help him. This will extend his life for years if it all works well!
Now, you'll have to act like a big kidney and really work hard in Nathanial. But you know its for a good cause. Nathanial will take good care of you and the doctors will check on you all the time to make sure you are enjoying your new home. And I'll still come around! Heck,once you get all settled and make friends with the other organs, I'm sure you'll forget all about me.
So, kidney, please do your best to help! Please, for the whole family and for everyone that loves Nathanial, work your little kidney butt off. Clean his blood like you've always cleaned mine. Help him to be healthy like the rest of us. We're all counting on you!
Love,
Hilary
I remember as a kid, when mom and dad would tuck us into bed and we shared a bedroom. We would still whisper and talk after they went back downstairs. Sometimes we would throw a little stuffed animal back and forth in the dark. We'd laugh when it would accidentally hit one of us. We'd get rowdy and sometimes forget how loud we got when we were supposed to be sleeping. Pretty soon, the hall light would flip on and Dad would come up and yell at us for not going to sleep like we were supposed to. I would always feel bad that Nathanial got yelled at because usually I started it. Another time I remember when Nathanial kept using the word 'damn'. Mom got so mad that he wouldn't stop she finally washed his mouth out with soap! I felt awful that he had to have his mouth washed out with soap, and I immediately ran upstairs and licked the soap myself to see how much he was suffering. And one time at church, when one of the bigger kids was picking on Nathanial, I chased that little bully all over the church kicking and trying to hit him and telling him he'd better not pick on my little brother!! --and I think I scared him off.
Feelings don't change as an adult. When I see someone staring at Nathanial because his nose is gone, I feel rage surge through me and I want to go tell that person off. When I hear a curious little kid ask questions about Nat's nose, it saddens me. The only difference now is that I am an adult and I have to control myself to some extent. I can't chase people down that stare and kick and hit them. I still feel protective. Only now, I feel helpless also.
When Nathanial was hospitalized a few years ago, I felt the most helpless I ever have in my life. There was my little brother...unconscious, feeding tube in his side so he could eat, breathing tube in his neck so he could breath, blood cleaning machine hooked to his veins so he wouldn't poison himself and die. Living by machine. He was mangled looking....his lips and nose were shriveled and black/purple. As were his fingers. As were his ears and the backs of his hands. His legs from the knee down looked like a corpse that had been rotting for some time. His arms were tied to the bed so he wouldn't thrash around and yank out any tubes.
It was literally the most heartbreaking feeling in the world.
And I could do nothing to help him.
Nothing.
I have never cried harder. I have never prayed more.
So, you see, kidney, this is where you come in. Its not that I don't need you....its that he needs you more. This is the one thing that I can do for Nathanial. This is the only thing I can do for my little brother that will help him. This will extend his life for years if it all works well!
Now, you'll have to act like a big kidney and really work hard in Nathanial. But you know its for a good cause. Nathanial will take good care of you and the doctors will check on you all the time to make sure you are enjoying your new home. And I'll still come around! Heck,once you get all settled and make friends with the other organs, I'm sure you'll forget all about me.
So, kidney, please do your best to help! Please, for the whole family and for everyone that loves Nathanial, work your little kidney butt off. Clean his blood like you've always cleaned mine. Help him to be healthy like the rest of us. We're all counting on you!
Love,
Hilary
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
All the Lose Ends
I don't have much to blog about today, but its been a few days since the last update so I'll fill everyone in. Nathanial is headed to Wichita today (face mask and hand sanitizer in tow so as to avoid swine flu!). He is attending his final 'Advanced Transplant' class in the transplant center at St Francis. The whole family attended one of these classes last year when we first started planning. The class is EXTREMELY uncomfortable. They talk about flank incisions, and they talk about getting a tube shoved in your pee hole, and they talk about the epidural, and they talk about medications after the surgery, and they do their best to really really talk you out of going through with it if you aren't a 100% dedicated. I remember getting grossed out enough that I lost my appetite--and, FYI, it takes a lot of work to make me lose my appetite!! I remember them going over some statistics of survival rates and things like that. They also talked about the financials of the process. So, today's meeting is a follow-up to that original meeting for Nathanial.
I believe Nat also meets with the wound specialist today. For those of you that don't know, back when Nathanial went septic a few years ago, he also lost half of one of his feet. His entire foot had turned a nasty shade of green/black with oozies coming out of it and mom and dad had to make the decision (while Nathanial was still in a coma) to go ahead and remove part of his foot to save the rest. He lost both of his calves and his nose and a few fingertips, but the major thing was his foot. His foot still gives him problems to this day. He had another surgery just a few months ago to shave off a little more of the foot bone and the doctor added some shark cartlidge to help the foot heal better. Apparently, when you don't have kidney function, you don't heal well from other illnesses. For three years, Nathanials foot wouldn't heal from the original surgery. It was very painful for him. He couldn't walk very far or for very long at a time. He had to keep his foot bandaged at all times and change his dressings often. It was all very sad. Then just a few weeks before my wedding is when he had surgery to add the shark cartlidge. We were all very impressed with how quickly he was up and walking after this proceedure. Now he has special little shoes that go around his stub to make him walk better! But back to my original thought--today he follows up with the wound care doctor for his foot. They have to make sure the foot is doing alright before proceeding with the transplant.
I don't have any more tests or meetings until Thursday. Thursday I have to take the entire day off work. So far, I have managed to just take bits and pieces of my work days off for all my tests and meetings. The bank has been really good about working with me on my schedule. This Thursday puts a bit of a kink in things at work because we have several people gone, but no one has given me a hard time about not being here. Everyone at work seems to understand, and even though they don't really know Nathanial, they are all cheering for him. I know its hard on people that aren't part of the family to really wrap their mind around how important this is.
I have been scheduled a glucose tolerance test on Thursday. I guess they don't usually do this test for the donor, but because I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with Corynne, they want to make sure I don't have diabetic tendencies now. Then just yesterday I got a phone call telling me that I not only get to meet with the Nephrologist Thursday, but I also get to meet with the Surgeon!!!! So that is HUGE news! On my checklist of things left to do, that completely wraps me up. I am hoping we get to schedule the actual date of the transplant Thursday! We shall see....and when I find out, believe you me, I will blog about it! ~Hilary
I believe Nat also meets with the wound specialist today. For those of you that don't know, back when Nathanial went septic a few years ago, he also lost half of one of his feet. His entire foot had turned a nasty shade of green/black with oozies coming out of it and mom and dad had to make the decision (while Nathanial was still in a coma) to go ahead and remove part of his foot to save the rest. He lost both of his calves and his nose and a few fingertips, but the major thing was his foot. His foot still gives him problems to this day. He had another surgery just a few months ago to shave off a little more of the foot bone and the doctor added some shark cartlidge to help the foot heal better. Apparently, when you don't have kidney function, you don't heal well from other illnesses. For three years, Nathanials foot wouldn't heal from the original surgery. It was very painful for him. He couldn't walk very far or for very long at a time. He had to keep his foot bandaged at all times and change his dressings often. It was all very sad. Then just a few weeks before my wedding is when he had surgery to add the shark cartlidge. We were all very impressed with how quickly he was up and walking after this proceedure. Now he has special little shoes that go around his stub to make him walk better! But back to my original thought--today he follows up with the wound care doctor for his foot. They have to make sure the foot is doing alright before proceeding with the transplant.
I don't have any more tests or meetings until Thursday. Thursday I have to take the entire day off work. So far, I have managed to just take bits and pieces of my work days off for all my tests and meetings. The bank has been really good about working with me on my schedule. This Thursday puts a bit of a kink in things at work because we have several people gone, but no one has given me a hard time about not being here. Everyone at work seems to understand, and even though they don't really know Nathanial, they are all cheering for him. I know its hard on people that aren't part of the family to really wrap their mind around how important this is.
I have been scheduled a glucose tolerance test on Thursday. I guess they don't usually do this test for the donor, but because I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with Corynne, they want to make sure I don't have diabetic tendencies now. Then just yesterday I got a phone call telling me that I not only get to meet with the Nephrologist Thursday, but I also get to meet with the Surgeon!!!! So that is HUGE news! On my checklist of things left to do, that completely wraps me up. I am hoping we get to schedule the actual date of the transplant Thursday! We shall see....and when I find out, believe you me, I will blog about it! ~Hilary
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Roller Coaster
Yesterday I received a phone call from the transplant center. The call was from Clem, the receptionist, who just called to tell me that our coordinator had made an appointment for me on next Thursday (October 22nd) at 2pm to meet with Dr. Mandayam - the nephrology surgeon!! She told me the meeting was just for me, and that Nathanial was not going to be present, but she said to be sure and bring my husband. Weird, huh?
I couldn't ask too many questions because she was just relaying the message and didn't really know details. But I have a MILLION questions. Last I knew, we couldn't have our meetings with the surgeons until the last week of October. Then, for no reason at all, I have a meeting next week. And I am to bring my husband - curious.
I have these plethera (sp?) of emotions right now that I can't control at all. I go to bed and I am exhausted to the point of not even being able to keep my eyes open, but then I start thinking about things that are about to happen, and I can't get to sleep. I toss and turn all night long and dream about the surgery. I wake up and immediately google things about the surgery. Then I go to work and think about it all day long, completely ruining my focus behind the desk. I come home and search some more on google. THIS IS CONSUMING MY LIFE!
And its not because I'm nervous, I'm not nervous at all....I'm just anxious. I am ready to do it and get it all over with. I keep coming up with all these 'what if' situations....what if Nathanial's body rejects my kidney? What if I get a kidney infection in my only kidney in a couple years? What if they go in to remove my kidney and find something wrong with it and don't go through with the transplant? What if Nathanial gets sick between now and the transplant? What if, after the surgery, I get a cough and rip out my stitches with every sneeze? --these are the things that make me not sleep, and not focus, and not act like myself.
One minute I'm all giddy and I'm like "Bring it!" and then the next minute I'm thinking about the IV and my legs feel weak and my stomach gets upset. One minute I'm all excited about the thought of 6 weeks relaxing at home to recover, the next minute I'm in a panic about all the sales I'll lose out on at work. One minute I'm wondering why this process takes so long, the next minute I catch myself telling someone that its going so fast! I am a crazy person right now. Literally, a crazy person right now.
I have a plan for this next week. This week I am going to try and act more normal. I am going to quit daydreaming to the point that I don't even hear when the kids ask me a question. I'm going to quit calling my parents house three times a day for no reason. I'm going to do more around the house and quit wasting my time googling. And, by golly, I'm going to sleep!!
I couldn't ask too many questions because she was just relaying the message and didn't really know details. But I have a MILLION questions. Last I knew, we couldn't have our meetings with the surgeons until the last week of October. Then, for no reason at all, I have a meeting next week. And I am to bring my husband - curious.
I have these plethera (sp?) of emotions right now that I can't control at all. I go to bed and I am exhausted to the point of not even being able to keep my eyes open, but then I start thinking about things that are about to happen, and I can't get to sleep. I toss and turn all night long and dream about the surgery. I wake up and immediately google things about the surgery. Then I go to work and think about it all day long, completely ruining my focus behind the desk. I come home and search some more on google. THIS IS CONSUMING MY LIFE!
And its not because I'm nervous, I'm not nervous at all....I'm just anxious. I am ready to do it and get it all over with. I keep coming up with all these 'what if' situations....what if Nathanial's body rejects my kidney? What if I get a kidney infection in my only kidney in a couple years? What if they go in to remove my kidney and find something wrong with it and don't go through with the transplant? What if Nathanial gets sick between now and the transplant? What if, after the surgery, I get a cough and rip out my stitches with every sneeze? --these are the things that make me not sleep, and not focus, and not act like myself.
One minute I'm all giddy and I'm like "Bring it!" and then the next minute I'm thinking about the IV and my legs feel weak and my stomach gets upset. One minute I'm all excited about the thought of 6 weeks relaxing at home to recover, the next minute I'm in a panic about all the sales I'll lose out on at work. One minute I'm wondering why this process takes so long, the next minute I catch myself telling someone that its going so fast! I am a crazy person right now. Literally, a crazy person right now.
I have a plan for this next week. This week I am going to try and act more normal. I am going to quit daydreaming to the point that I don't even hear when the kids ask me a question. I'm going to quit calling my parents house three times a day for no reason. I'm going to do more around the house and quit wasting my time googling. And, by golly, I'm going to sleep!!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Get the Show on the Road
Now comes the hardest part of the whole ordeal for me........ waiting.
I'm done with the bloodwork (for the most part). I'm done with the urine collecting. I'm done with the xrays and the IV's and the radiologist and the therapist. I'm done with the social worker and the EKG. I'm done with the phone calls and the coordinating my schedule and the trips to the hospital. Now all I have to do is wait.
For those of you who don't know me very well, I'll fill you in. I'm not a very patient person. I tend to jump into things head first as quickly as possible. Dad used to have a saying - think first, then act. As often as he would tell me that, somehow I have always ALWAYS done everything in my entire life the opposite. I tend to act first and then think about it (after its too late). While I don't claim this as a very good method, I seem to have survived okay this far in life. I have gotten myself into a few messes.....I once sat our row of hedges on fire as a kid because, without thinking first, I was lighting and throwing fireworks into them. My friend and I once decided on our lunch break to go and get our hands pierced in the little fleshy part between our thumb and forefinger (not very convienant for a banker). I have had the cops call my parents in the middle of the night because I was using their vehicle, and without thinking, I parked it in a towzone while I went and partied. I once moved to Kansas City on a whim, without the financial ability to actually succeed up there, and had to move back only three months later. You get the point. I'm not proud of these things, but I'm drawing a picture here....
So yesterday as I was leaving the psychologist office, I was thinking to myself about how we could just have the surgery tomorrow if we wanted. I mean, all the tests are done. Nathanial is healthy now. WHY ARE WE WAITING?!?!?!? Lets get this show on the road already!
I get that its a process. I get that the doctors want to thoroughly go over my medical records before making the final decision. I get that Nathanial should attend one more of his 'advanced kidney recipient' classes. I get it! But at the same time....every day this is put off is another day things have a chance to go wrong. I don't want to be a debbie downer, but one can't help but think of Nathanials health. If he gets a cold, he'll be put in the hospital and it could delay things for weeks! If he gets an infection, same thing. What if I get H1N1 in the meantime!?
Here is the procession of what is left before surgery:
*my medical records have to arrive in the renal department and Dr Shields has to go over them
*Nathanial has to attend one more 'Advanced Renal Transplant' class (scheduled for October 20th)
*Mark, the coordinator, has to schedule a time that the surgeons can meet with Nathanial and I to decide on the actual date of transplant (I was told this meeting probably wouldn't take place until the last week of October-boo!)
Thats it! See how close we are now! OH man! Everybody please pray for Nathanials health between now and then pleeeeeaaaaaaase! In the meantime, I'm going to keep taking my vitamins and exercising everyday. I'm going to use the hand sanitizer and wash my hands everytime I shake someone's hand at work. I'm going to get plenty of rest and I'm going to eat my veggies. Hope that does the trick!
I'm done with the bloodwork (for the most part). I'm done with the urine collecting. I'm done with the xrays and the IV's and the radiologist and the therapist. I'm done with the social worker and the EKG. I'm done with the phone calls and the coordinating my schedule and the trips to the hospital. Now all I have to do is wait.
For those of you who don't know me very well, I'll fill you in. I'm not a very patient person. I tend to jump into things head first as quickly as possible. Dad used to have a saying - think first, then act. As often as he would tell me that, somehow I have always ALWAYS done everything in my entire life the opposite. I tend to act first and then think about it (after its too late). While I don't claim this as a very good method, I seem to have survived okay this far in life. I have gotten myself into a few messes.....I once sat our row of hedges on fire as a kid because, without thinking first, I was lighting and throwing fireworks into them. My friend and I once decided on our lunch break to go and get our hands pierced in the little fleshy part between our thumb and forefinger (not very convienant for a banker). I have had the cops call my parents in the middle of the night because I was using their vehicle, and without thinking, I parked it in a towzone while I went and partied. I once moved to Kansas City on a whim, without the financial ability to actually succeed up there, and had to move back only three months later. You get the point. I'm not proud of these things, but I'm drawing a picture here....
So yesterday as I was leaving the psychologist office, I was thinking to myself about how we could just have the surgery tomorrow if we wanted. I mean, all the tests are done. Nathanial is healthy now. WHY ARE WE WAITING?!?!?!? Lets get this show on the road already!
I get that its a process. I get that the doctors want to thoroughly go over my medical records before making the final decision. I get that Nathanial should attend one more of his 'advanced kidney recipient' classes. I get it! But at the same time....every day this is put off is another day things have a chance to go wrong. I don't want to be a debbie downer, but one can't help but think of Nathanials health. If he gets a cold, he'll be put in the hospital and it could delay things for weeks! If he gets an infection, same thing. What if I get H1N1 in the meantime!?
Here is the procession of what is left before surgery:
*my medical records have to arrive in the renal department and Dr Shields has to go over them
*Nathanial has to attend one more 'Advanced Renal Transplant' class (scheduled for October 20th)
*Mark, the coordinator, has to schedule a time that the surgeons can meet with Nathanial and I to decide on the actual date of transplant (I was told this meeting probably wouldn't take place until the last week of October-boo!)
Thats it! See how close we are now! OH man! Everybody please pray for Nathanials health between now and then pleeeeeaaaaaaase! In the meantime, I'm going to keep taking my vitamins and exercising everyday. I'm going to use the hand sanitizer and wash my hands everytime I shake someone's hand at work. I'm going to get plenty of rest and I'm going to eat my veggies. Hope that does the trick!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Liquid
In my last post, I told you all about the Renal diet. Some of you may have been wondering, what about water? My body cannot get rid of water. Dialysis takes off some of the excess water, but not all. Let me tell you a story.
When I was young, I didn't drink much water. Shoot, I didn't drink much of anything. When I was in college, some things happened that changed all that. No, it wasn't my 21st birthday. It was kidney stones. Ah, yes, kidney stones.
My father had a kidney stone several years earlier. I remember he was in a lot of pain, rolling around on the floor. I thought that I would NEVER have a kidney stone. I actually drank water. Dad didn't drink water. As the urologist would later explain to me, it's not so much what you drink, but how much you drink.
I ended up with kidney stones two different times. Once I got hit by one while at the Rennaissance (spelling?) Festival. I'm pretty sure I freaked out Toby and my brother, who had to pull over to the side of the highway and call an ambulance. I was on the grass, on all fours, weaving back and forth and puking constantly. A quick trip to a local hospital and an IV with lots of saline, and I felt much better.
Later, I got another kidney stone. This one I couldn't pass. I had a surgery, sort of. They knocked me out and then blasted my kidneys with sound waves in order to break up the stones, so they would be small enough to pass. They stuck an incredibly long, flexible straw up Mr. Happy in order to keep the passage way open when I passed the stones. That was awkward. For the next couple of weeks, Mr. Happy had a couple little strings hanging out the end of him. Why strings you ask? So when the tube needed removed, they could do it quickly. I go to the doctor. I stand over a trash can and drop my drawers. The doctor wraps his finger around the little strings and yanks!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say; after a couple of experiences like this, I started drinking a lot of liquids. Any of you who are familiar with my medical history will wonder how this compares to other things. Well, here it is. KIDNEY STONES ARE THE MOST PAINFUL THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED. That's right. I'd rather have gone through all the other things if I could have avoided kidney stones. Shoot, the last kidney stone I had, not even massive amounts of morphin could lessen the pain.
Anyway, I forced myself to drink lots of liquids. I carried a big mug of water around with me to track how much fluid intake I had in a given day. I set goals and I drank constantly. Then, my kidneys shut down.
Now, my body can't get rid of water, so I 'm restricted to a small amount of fluid each day. That's right, after training for years to drink a lot, suddenly, I can't drink hardly anything. My nephrologist (kidney doctor) keeps wondering why I have such a hard time stopping myself from drinking too much.
I am restricted to 32 ounces a day. That may seem like a lot to some people at first, but try counting your liquid intake in a day. I bet it comes up to more than that. You see it's liquid intake. Not just what you drink. Soups, fruits and vegetables. Anything with liquid in it has to be calculated. This really throws off more eating options for me.
When it's cold and rainy and it's a perfect soup day...not for me. When it's the middle of summer and I'm outside burning up; a nice, cold, tall glass of water is out of the question. The worst part is winter. When it gets cold outside, my body dries out. I am constantly thirsty, but I can't drink very much. I have itchy, dry skin and constant chapped lips, but I can't do anything about it. I have to stay partially dehydrated.
Have you ever been seriously dehydrated? I have. It hurts. Your whole body just doesn't feel right. You hurt all over and can't figure out what's wrong. Luckily, it's happened to me enough that I know how to fix it. A quick trip to the ER and they stick an IV in my arm and shoot me full of saline. After about half an hour of fluid, I'm feeling decent again.
OK. I've gone on long enough for this post. I'll write again later.
Grace and Peace,
-Nat
When I was young, I didn't drink much water. Shoot, I didn't drink much of anything. When I was in college, some things happened that changed all that. No, it wasn't my 21st birthday. It was kidney stones. Ah, yes, kidney stones.
My father had a kidney stone several years earlier. I remember he was in a lot of pain, rolling around on the floor. I thought that I would NEVER have a kidney stone. I actually drank water. Dad didn't drink water. As the urologist would later explain to me, it's not so much what you drink, but how much you drink.
I ended up with kidney stones two different times. Once I got hit by one while at the Rennaissance (spelling?) Festival. I'm pretty sure I freaked out Toby and my brother, who had to pull over to the side of the highway and call an ambulance. I was on the grass, on all fours, weaving back and forth and puking constantly. A quick trip to a local hospital and an IV with lots of saline, and I felt much better.
Later, I got another kidney stone. This one I couldn't pass. I had a surgery, sort of. They knocked me out and then blasted my kidneys with sound waves in order to break up the stones, so they would be small enough to pass. They stuck an incredibly long, flexible straw up Mr. Happy in order to keep the passage way open when I passed the stones. That was awkward. For the next couple of weeks, Mr. Happy had a couple little strings hanging out the end of him. Why strings you ask? So when the tube needed removed, they could do it quickly. I go to the doctor. I stand over a trash can and drop my drawers. The doctor wraps his finger around the little strings and yanks!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say; after a couple of experiences like this, I started drinking a lot of liquids. Any of you who are familiar with my medical history will wonder how this compares to other things. Well, here it is. KIDNEY STONES ARE THE MOST PAINFUL THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED. That's right. I'd rather have gone through all the other things if I could have avoided kidney stones. Shoot, the last kidney stone I had, not even massive amounts of morphin could lessen the pain.
Anyway, I forced myself to drink lots of liquids. I carried a big mug of water around with me to track how much fluid intake I had in a given day. I set goals and I drank constantly. Then, my kidneys shut down.
Now, my body can't get rid of water, so I 'm restricted to a small amount of fluid each day. That's right, after training for years to drink a lot, suddenly, I can't drink hardly anything. My nephrologist (kidney doctor) keeps wondering why I have such a hard time stopping myself from drinking too much.
I am restricted to 32 ounces a day. That may seem like a lot to some people at first, but try counting your liquid intake in a day. I bet it comes up to more than that. You see it's liquid intake. Not just what you drink. Soups, fruits and vegetables. Anything with liquid in it has to be calculated. This really throws off more eating options for me.
When it's cold and rainy and it's a perfect soup day...not for me. When it's the middle of summer and I'm outside burning up; a nice, cold, tall glass of water is out of the question. The worst part is winter. When it gets cold outside, my body dries out. I am constantly thirsty, but I can't drink very much. I have itchy, dry skin and constant chapped lips, but I can't do anything about it. I have to stay partially dehydrated.
Have you ever been seriously dehydrated? I have. It hurts. Your whole body just doesn't feel right. You hurt all over and can't figure out what's wrong. Luckily, it's happened to me enough that I know how to fix it. A quick trip to the ER and they stick an IV in my arm and shoot me full of saline. After about half an hour of fluid, I'm feeling decent again.
OK. I've gone on long enough for this post. I'll write again later.
Grace and Peace,
-Nat
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Urine My Heart, Urine My Soul
My mom is worried sick. When we met with the nephrologist and the kidney donor coordinator a couple of weeks ago, she was teary almost the entire meeting. I don't blame her....as a mother myself, I know worrying about your children comsumes 90% of your life. I can't fathom if two of my three kids were going to be having major surgery, in the same month, on the same day, at the same time!! My mom doesn't handle stress well anyway. My dad is the calm one in moments of stress. He just acts goofy and tells bad jokes :) But he keeps my mom grounded and calm-er when they're together. Unfortunately, I just found out my dad is getting ready to leave for about a month for work......which means he will be gone when Nathanial and I have surgery.
I don't know how this will work out exactly for my mom. I'm very worried for her on that day. She will have my three kids to keep her company in the waiting room. She'll have Kristian, my youngest brother, to keep her company. She'll have my husband there with her. And I'm sure she'll have my granny Doris also. But she won't have my dad....her rock.
I know my dad, and I know dad will make every effort to make it for part of the day somehow. His job sends him all over the country and when he's on a 'mission' he can't just call in for a personal day. Even when his excuse is that his daughter AND his son are both going to be having major surgery that day. I know it will kill him not being there as well. Do you really think he will be focused on work that day? Hardly. Fortunately, I don't think dad will be too far away for this mission. I just hope they go easy on dad that day and let him leave a little early or something.
You know, really, when it all comes down to it, its really my parents fault that Nathanial and I will both be in surgery at the same time. They only have themselves to blame. Mom and dad are the ones that ALWAYS made me share with my brothers when we were younger. All the time as a child I was told to share. Share, share, share. Sometimes I even had to share dumb things like my Barbies! I would whine about how the Barbies were mine and they were in my room so why should I have to share with Kristian when he came in and wanted to play. (yes-Kristian used to want to play Barbies with me!) We would have to share our toys in the playroom..... and share the Nintendo...... and share our snacks.... and share our blankets when we would camp in the tent in the backyard. Mom and dad bred us to share. So when I hear someone make a remark on how brave I am, all I can say is "my dad always told me to share".
~Hilary
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Planning Ahead
I found this very detailed picture that shows how the surgery happens. Isn't it great?! ...and kind of revolting, all at the same time? I have been googling nephrectomies (the official term of a kidney transplant). I'm just fine googling nephrectomy unless I push the 'images' button at the top of the page. There are some pretty graphic pictures you can find on the internet!! Dang! I found this one picture of a cat before and after picture blog. The cat had kidney disease. After the cat died, the owner took a picture of his diseased kidneys laying next to his little grave. What the heck!?
I have a reason behind my googling. I have to decide what kind of nephrectomy I want. Apparently I get a variety of surgeries from which to choose. The three main choices are the Open Procedure, Laparoscopic or the Hand-Assisted Laparoscopic. I have decided to rule out the hand-assisted option. For some reason, the thought of them cutting a hand-sized hole along my pubic bone for them to stick their hand up into during surgery just doesn't appeal to me. I invision laying on the operating table with the doctors arm INSIDE my body and it gives me the heebie-jeebies. I bet the doctors make jokes about it. I bet they stick their arm up in there and then pretend they're getting sucked in....and they jump around and say "oh no! Its got me!" for a good laugh. While that would make me laugh if I were a nurse in the room, being the patient makes it not so alluring.
I have to really weigh the pro's and con's of the other two choices. This reminds me of last week's episode of The Office, where Jim kept making Pro and Con lists. My mom always did this to make decisions when I was growing up. I think thats where I got if from. So below I have listed the Pro's and Con's of each option.
OPEN NEPHRECTOMY PRO'S
- long-term international record of safety
- potentially fewer abdominal complications
- shorter operative time
- earlier kidney function in the recipient (very important)
DISADVANTAGES OF OPEN NEPHRECTOMY
- possibly more severe pain after surgery
- 6-8 weeks of recovery before feeling back to normal
- larger surgical scars
ADVANTAGES OF LAPRO
- possibly less post-op pain
- minimal scarring
- return to normal activity sooner
- shorter hospital stay
- magnified view during surgery
DISADVANTAGES OF LAPRO
- slower kidney function for the recipient (very important)
- longer surgery time
- higher risk of damage to the kidney
- slower return of bowel function
- longer anesthesia time
Knowing all sides of the story will help everyone understand why I have ultimately chosen to have open surgery. The idea that the kidney will function faster in Nathanial during an open surgery is the biggest factor in my decision. Geoff and I have discussed this a lot. I keep making him read articles and lay in bed at night and talk to me about it. I'm sure Geoff is more than anxious for this to be over with! I was told that in an open surgery (which only lasts a couple of hours, by the way!) the kidney is taken out, rinsed immediatly with saline, and then they begin re-attaching the veins in the recipient within 5 or 6 minutes. And the kidney will begin functioning IMMEDIATELY upon being placed in the patient!! Think of this: Nathanial will have kidney function before they are even starting to sew him up if we go with the open nephrectomy. How awesome is that!? With the laparoscopic version, the surgery is far more problematic for the recipient. First off, the surgery is done through little holes with tiny little scissors and tiny little lasers all through a camera. This makes the surgery quite a bit more lenghthy...5 or 6 hours!! Secondly, they have to capture the kidney in a little baggie after cutting the veins and ureatha all of it and then pull the kidney through an incision. This places extra stress on the kidney and the kidney had more 'dead time' before being placed in the recipient. That, in turn, makes the kidney slower to function. It all makes perfect sense! And, with lapro, there is still a chance they will have to change their mind and do a full open surgery.
So, with all that being said, I'm sure everyone will agree with my decision of the open nephrectomy.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
SUCCESS!!
I would like to start out tonight's blog by letting everyone know I am not pregnant. Yes, yes, I know I have no uterus, but apparently it was still on the agenda for one of my tests today. So now that we have that cleared up we can proceed to how the rest of the day went. I'll start at the beginning....which was early, early in the morning....around 4:30 am.
I believe I blogged last night about being proud of myself for drinking a cup of hot tea and a cup of juice right before bed. Yes, I was doing great with the consumption of fluids, just entirely too late in the evening. I woke up at 4:30 and had to pee so bad I barely made it to the rest room. I did all the right things since I was still in my 24-hour pee collection stage. Even though I could barely keep my eyes open I put the tray in the potty, and then I stumbled through the dark house to find the fridge and pour my 'specimen' into the jug. I replaced the lid and then back to bed I went. No biggie. Until 6am, when I was supposed to collect my last specimen, but couldn't because I had just went at 4:30. I know this sounds miniscule (sp?) but I was really freaking because the renal coordinator had really placed some pressure on me to do everything just right. I was supposed to collect my last pee at exactly 24 hours after my first pee. If I screwed it up, then the whole test was shot. If this was the only issue, I think I would have been okay. But there was one other issue where I temporarily forgot I was saving ALL my pee and when I stepped into my nice warm shower......well.....
Geoff and I arrived at the hospital early enough that we could grab some Starbucks before proceeding to the death chamber, I mean...the lab. He got a nice white chocolate mocha (my favorite) and I was still on the clear liquid fast so I got hot tea. Actually, that was fine for me because I may have thrown up anything I ingested at this point. Nerves were killing me. We headed to the third floor where they smiled and greeted me and asked me to pee in a cup. Apparently, the gallon jug of pee I brought with me wasn't enough. I didn't balk, I have learned not to piss of the lab workers, as they are the ones in charge of sticking needles in you. Its best to be as sweet and pleasing as possible to anyone working in the lab. They gave me my hospital arm band and then let me wait in the waiting room just long enough to really think about everything. I got out my Bible and read a little bit to kill some time. Scripture always seems to calm me. I read a verse to Geoff that I had found the day before. It had struck me as very funny. When the people were wandering around in the desert with Moses and they were griping about only having manna to eat God replied to them saying something like "oh, Ill give you more to eat. I'll give you some meat. So much meat, it comes out your nostrils! Then we'll see what you have to gripe about". That has nothing to do with the waiting room, but I really like that little part of the Bible story. And it made me temporarily forget about the fact that just around the corner was a nurse waiting to suck out my blood with a giant syringe.
Once I was called to the lab a very sweet nurse with a whole handful of blood viles asked me to have a seat. Lol. Me....have a seat....in the lab. Good one. Geoff chuckled to himself while I quickly informed her of my habitual fainting when my veins are being probed and she was kind enough to have me lay on the table. I crawled up on the flimsy table/bed/thing with the paper lining and layed down. I was feeling pretty good until the nurse mentioned that she didn't have enough room to lay all my viles because there were so many to draw... GULP!!! She had TEN, yes TEN empty viles. Trying to be cool, I mentioned I could just scoot closer to the wall the bed was up against and she could lay the viles on the bed. I scooted right over and then noticed there was blood spattered all over the wall! I looked and Geoff and made eyes at him to look at the wall and he gave me his "gross" look back with his eyes and curled his lips. Too late to bring up the blood spatters at this point because the nurse was tying that horrible piece of rubberband like thing around my arm. She wanted me to make a fist while she tapped my arm to fish for a good vein. Okay, this is the part where my legs start jumping around uncontrollably and sweat starts popping out of my forehead like an NBA player. I will skip the next few details. She got the ten viles. I did not die.
On to the 4th floor. They call this section of the hospital the Heart Center. Sounds cute doesn't it? I was very disappointed when I arrived to find it was just a boring floor like all the rest and no one had thought to paint it all cutsie with hearts and love quotes. I knew this floor would be easy and I was right. I was doing an EKG on this floor. They made me take off my shirt and lay down. The nurse put little stickers all over my chest and one on each foot (the foot thing perplexed me, but I didn't want to ask her about it because the nurse seemed a little slow.....). She hooked wires to each one of the stickers and then turned on the machine for 10 seconds. A piece of paper came out of the machine and then we pulled the stickers off and I got dressed. Easiest part of my day.
Lastly, we made the trek to the radiologist. We checked in, sat in the waiting room and watched a little Rachel Ray, and then they called me. Geoff and I got up to head down the hall and the nurse turned to him and told him he could wait in the north waiting room or the west one but he couldn't go with me. WHAT!?! This test is the whole entire reason I needed him with me!!! This was the dreaded, evil test of doom!!!! He reluctantly took my purse and my bag and kissed me good bye while the nurse told him it would only be about an hour. She guided me to a little room where she instructed me to take off my cloths except for my panties and shoes and put on one of the oh-so-sexy hospital gowns. I stripped and made a joke about wearing my panties that said "lets make mistakes" on the butt. I thought it would be funny to leave the gown open in back so people could read it. The nurse didn't think I was funny. Thank goodness I only had that nurse for one x-ray, because a nurse with no sense of humor pretty much sucks. She just did my chest x-ray that lasted only about 20 seconds.
Once the chest x-ray was over it was time for the test. THE TEST!! The test I have been dreading since Thursday when I found out about it. The test I actually was worried about a year ago when we learned about it in some kidney class we took. Oh man. The closer I got to the IVP room, the weaker my knees got. The nurse had me take a seat while she went over a few details....was I pregnant, do I smoke, yada yada yada. The whole time my legs were bouncing around and I was sweating. Right next to her little piece of paper on a clipboard, was three GIANT syringes. When I say giant, I mean, the same size as the cardboard on the inside of paper towel rolls. Yes, that big. No exaggeration. She was explaining how they would hook up the IV and then lay me on this table and inject me with these iodine syringes (pointing to the giantuous ones on the table) and take pictures of my kidneys and bladder processing...blah blah blah. I really didn't hear much after the part about the IV. When my head started rolling around she got all big-eyed and asked me if I would be alright. She told me to take some deep breaths and mentioned something about not being comfortable doing my IV and she was going to go get another nurse to help. Great...two nurses. This typically means one is going to kind of hold me down while the other sticks me. As both nurses returned my hearing shut off and my eyes started going black. I mumbled that I needed to lay down and I just kind of dropped to the floor. I didn't faint, but I needed to quickly feel the nice coldness of the radiology floor. It was so nice and cool. And as long as I was down there on the floor, no one could stick needles in my veins. I know that doesn't sound very logical now, but at the moment it seemed the only option. The nurses were very nice and I totally feel bad now. I warned them though. I warned everyone, from the receptionist, to the radiologist in the first room, to the nurse walking me down the hall. They all knew what they were getting into ahead of time! The nurses got me off the floor and moved me to the table where the x-rays would be taken. They tilted the bed so my head was down and blood would rush back to my cranium. Apparently, that was their last ditch effort to keep me conscious. A cold rag was placed on my head as they explained that they wanted me to just relax for a little while and they would call in the IV specialist team to do the insertion. Right, relax, okay sure.
Actually, I did relax. In fact I almost fell asleep because the IV specialist team took about 30 minutes to show up. The tech was awesome and she was sweet and mild. She told me she does 100 IV's a day and she's very, very good. She didn't give me a chance to balk, she just walked right over, eyeballed a vein right off and wiped it off. I was praying the entire time and I think God was actually with me right then. Because as she told me she was administering the lidocane I didn't even feel the stick. In fact, I didn't hear her pull the paper off the IV needle (which I usually pick up on), I didn't feel her poke the IV in, and I didn't even feel her tape it down. No, that's a lie. I did feel the tape further down my arm near my wrist when she taped that. Her name was Mary Lee and she was an angel. I praised her and told her I was requesting her for the surgery day!! I have never in my whole life experienced a smoother IV insertion!!! Prayer works!!
They took the pictures of my kidneys working and my bladder filling and then they let me pee. Thank goodness!! I had all that hot tea from Starbucks 4 hours earlier, PLUS the IV fluids...I had to go!! Side note: it was so nice to just pee and not worry about aiming for a tray :) They took one last picture of my empty bladder and my day was done!!! I had made it!!! I was past the hard part!!!!!
Geoff and I went up to visit Mark and go over all my results. Technology is amazing. He had all my lab and all my pictures from the dye in my kidneys and everything in just a few minutes!! He showed me my healthy little heart. He showed me my healthy little lungs. He showed me my healthy little blood test results. He showed me my healthy little kidneys. And he showed me my happy little bladder. And he told me my tests all came out great. DID YOU GET THAT? He said my tests all looked great!!!!!!!!! Stress over! Operation Kidney Transplant ready for action!!!!! I meet with a psychologist next Wednesday and I meet with a social worker next Monday. I have one more 24 hour pee test just to make sure they are both conclusive of the same results. Then we meet with the nephrologist and the surgeon and the rest will be history.
All in a days work!
I believe I blogged last night about being proud of myself for drinking a cup of hot tea and a cup of juice right before bed. Yes, I was doing great with the consumption of fluids, just entirely too late in the evening. I woke up at 4:30 and had to pee so bad I barely made it to the rest room. I did all the right things since I was still in my 24-hour pee collection stage. Even though I could barely keep my eyes open I put the tray in the potty, and then I stumbled through the dark house to find the fridge and pour my 'specimen' into the jug. I replaced the lid and then back to bed I went. No biggie. Until 6am, when I was supposed to collect my last specimen, but couldn't because I had just went at 4:30. I know this sounds miniscule (sp?) but I was really freaking because the renal coordinator had really placed some pressure on me to do everything just right. I was supposed to collect my last pee at exactly 24 hours after my first pee. If I screwed it up, then the whole test was shot. If this was the only issue, I think I would have been okay. But there was one other issue where I temporarily forgot I was saving ALL my pee and when I stepped into my nice warm shower......well.....
Geoff and I arrived at the hospital early enough that we could grab some Starbucks before proceeding to the death chamber, I mean...the lab. He got a nice white chocolate mocha (my favorite) and I was still on the clear liquid fast so I got hot tea. Actually, that was fine for me because I may have thrown up anything I ingested at this point. Nerves were killing me. We headed to the third floor where they smiled and greeted me and asked me to pee in a cup. Apparently, the gallon jug of pee I brought with me wasn't enough. I didn't balk, I have learned not to piss of the lab workers, as they are the ones in charge of sticking needles in you. Its best to be as sweet and pleasing as possible to anyone working in the lab. They gave me my hospital arm band and then let me wait in the waiting room just long enough to really think about everything. I got out my Bible and read a little bit to kill some time. Scripture always seems to calm me. I read a verse to Geoff that I had found the day before. It had struck me as very funny. When the people were wandering around in the desert with Moses and they were griping about only having manna to eat God replied to them saying something like "oh, Ill give you more to eat. I'll give you some meat. So much meat, it comes out your nostrils! Then we'll see what you have to gripe about". That has nothing to do with the waiting room, but I really like that little part of the Bible story. And it made me temporarily forget about the fact that just around the corner was a nurse waiting to suck out my blood with a giant syringe.
Once I was called to the lab a very sweet nurse with a whole handful of blood viles asked me to have a seat. Lol. Me....have a seat....in the lab. Good one. Geoff chuckled to himself while I quickly informed her of my habitual fainting when my veins are being probed and she was kind enough to have me lay on the table. I crawled up on the flimsy table/bed/thing with the paper lining and layed down. I was feeling pretty good until the nurse mentioned that she didn't have enough room to lay all my viles because there were so many to draw... GULP!!! She had TEN, yes TEN empty viles. Trying to be cool, I mentioned I could just scoot closer to the wall the bed was up against and she could lay the viles on the bed. I scooted right over and then noticed there was blood spattered all over the wall! I looked and Geoff and made eyes at him to look at the wall and he gave me his "gross" look back with his eyes and curled his lips. Too late to bring up the blood spatters at this point because the nurse was tying that horrible piece of rubberband like thing around my arm. She wanted me to make a fist while she tapped my arm to fish for a good vein. Okay, this is the part where my legs start jumping around uncontrollably and sweat starts popping out of my forehead like an NBA player. I will skip the next few details. She got the ten viles. I did not die.
On to the 4th floor. They call this section of the hospital the Heart Center. Sounds cute doesn't it? I was very disappointed when I arrived to find it was just a boring floor like all the rest and no one had thought to paint it all cutsie with hearts and love quotes. I knew this floor would be easy and I was right. I was doing an EKG on this floor. They made me take off my shirt and lay down. The nurse put little stickers all over my chest and one on each foot (the foot thing perplexed me, but I didn't want to ask her about it because the nurse seemed a little slow.....). She hooked wires to each one of the stickers and then turned on the machine for 10 seconds. A piece of paper came out of the machine and then we pulled the stickers off and I got dressed. Easiest part of my day.
Lastly, we made the trek to the radiologist. We checked in, sat in the waiting room and watched a little Rachel Ray, and then they called me. Geoff and I got up to head down the hall and the nurse turned to him and told him he could wait in the north waiting room or the west one but he couldn't go with me. WHAT!?! This test is the whole entire reason I needed him with me!!! This was the dreaded, evil test of doom!!!! He reluctantly took my purse and my bag and kissed me good bye while the nurse told him it would only be about an hour. She guided me to a little room where she instructed me to take off my cloths except for my panties and shoes and put on one of the oh-so-sexy hospital gowns. I stripped and made a joke about wearing my panties that said "lets make mistakes" on the butt. I thought it would be funny to leave the gown open in back so people could read it. The nurse didn't think I was funny. Thank goodness I only had that nurse for one x-ray, because a nurse with no sense of humor pretty much sucks. She just did my chest x-ray that lasted only about 20 seconds.
Once the chest x-ray was over it was time for the test. THE TEST!! The test I have been dreading since Thursday when I found out about it. The test I actually was worried about a year ago when we learned about it in some kidney class we took. Oh man. The closer I got to the IVP room, the weaker my knees got. The nurse had me take a seat while she went over a few details....was I pregnant, do I smoke, yada yada yada. The whole time my legs were bouncing around and I was sweating. Right next to her little piece of paper on a clipboard, was three GIANT syringes. When I say giant, I mean, the same size as the cardboard on the inside of paper towel rolls. Yes, that big. No exaggeration. She was explaining how they would hook up the IV and then lay me on this table and inject me with these iodine syringes (pointing to the giantuous ones on the table) and take pictures of my kidneys and bladder processing...blah blah blah. I really didn't hear much after the part about the IV. When my head started rolling around she got all big-eyed and asked me if I would be alright. She told me to take some deep breaths and mentioned something about not being comfortable doing my IV and she was going to go get another nurse to help. Great...two nurses. This typically means one is going to kind of hold me down while the other sticks me. As both nurses returned my hearing shut off and my eyes started going black. I mumbled that I needed to lay down and I just kind of dropped to the floor. I didn't faint, but I needed to quickly feel the nice coldness of the radiology floor. It was so nice and cool. And as long as I was down there on the floor, no one could stick needles in my veins. I know that doesn't sound very logical now, but at the moment it seemed the only option. The nurses were very nice and I totally feel bad now. I warned them though. I warned everyone, from the receptionist, to the radiologist in the first room, to the nurse walking me down the hall. They all knew what they were getting into ahead of time! The nurses got me off the floor and moved me to the table where the x-rays would be taken. They tilted the bed so my head was down and blood would rush back to my cranium. Apparently, that was their last ditch effort to keep me conscious. A cold rag was placed on my head as they explained that they wanted me to just relax for a little while and they would call in the IV specialist team to do the insertion. Right, relax, okay sure.
Actually, I did relax. In fact I almost fell asleep because the IV specialist team took about 30 minutes to show up. The tech was awesome and she was sweet and mild. She told me she does 100 IV's a day and she's very, very good. She didn't give me a chance to balk, she just walked right over, eyeballed a vein right off and wiped it off. I was praying the entire time and I think God was actually with me right then. Because as she told me she was administering the lidocane I didn't even feel the stick. In fact, I didn't hear her pull the paper off the IV needle (which I usually pick up on), I didn't feel her poke the IV in, and I didn't even feel her tape it down. No, that's a lie. I did feel the tape further down my arm near my wrist when she taped that. Her name was Mary Lee and she was an angel. I praised her and told her I was requesting her for the surgery day!! I have never in my whole life experienced a smoother IV insertion!!! Prayer works!!
They took the pictures of my kidneys working and my bladder filling and then they let me pee. Thank goodness!! I had all that hot tea from Starbucks 4 hours earlier, PLUS the IV fluids...I had to go!! Side note: it was so nice to just pee and not worry about aiming for a tray :) They took one last picture of my empty bladder and my day was done!!! I had made it!!! I was past the hard part!!!!!
Geoff and I went up to visit Mark and go over all my results. Technology is amazing. He had all my lab and all my pictures from the dye in my kidneys and everything in just a few minutes!! He showed me my healthy little heart. He showed me my healthy little lungs. He showed me my healthy little blood test results. He showed me my healthy little kidneys. And he showed me my happy little bladder. And he told me my tests all came out great. DID YOU GET THAT? He said my tests all looked great!!!!!!!!! Stress over! Operation Kidney Transplant ready for action!!!!! I meet with a psychologist next Wednesday and I meet with a social worker next Monday. I have one more 24 hour pee test just to make sure they are both conclusive of the same results. Then we meet with the nephrologist and the surgeon and the rest will be history.
All in a days work!
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